Well it's been about one week since I filled in over 100 job applications, and what return have I had? Well I've had 3 "Sorry you're not good enough" replies via email, and 2 job agencies call me to say oh we have a job you may be great at, but unfortunately you have a CCJ which is 4 years old, so you're not eligible for the job. (5 replies from over 100 job applications).

My fear is coming true though, my opinion of how well I'd do at this new job is quite accurate, I have so far had 1 sale in an entire week, which is the lowest in the department and I fear that I don't have much longer in this job unless I can turn that around.

What I've done though throughout this week is continue you applying for jobs that I've seen come up, and I've not ate anything at lunch everyday this week, but rather I've hiked to the job centre and spent 25 minutes in there looking for new jobs to apply for. This has resulted in some good potential finds, but realistically I've applied and I've no idea how many I'll really be considered for.

How do I feel about all of this? At the moment the feeling that's kicking in, seems to be depression, I feel like even though I've done more than the average person with life experiences, traveling and education, that it's all been for nothing, when a 40 year old who's sat on his/her arse for their entire life doing a single job because they're too lazy, whilst living with their parents has a better chance at finding work than myself.

All I'm looking for is a break, a chance to move forward and build a career, is that really supposed to be this hard?